@balloonsmatt: Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that’s why we’re getting a divorce and marrying you instead.
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@DoogieHorner: Dogs are "practice babies" and cats are "practice ex-girlfriends you still have to share an apartment with."
@drxubair: I'd love to change the world. But I don't think there is a diaper big enough to hold all the shit.
@Sanbel11: Stuck in traffic but luckily few people are beeping their horns so we'll be moving any second now.