@Lisa_Laughs_: Your neck. There's an axe for that.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I did pretty well. I left with four kids, and I came back with four kids. Wife: The same four kids? Me: I'll be right back.
@EyesOfGreen73: PSA: If you have kids, do not label the box of your ...ahem.. special items "Toys". It's very awkward to explain.
@thejamietighe: Boss: Why is there an olive in your water? Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water.