@Lisa_Laughs_: Your neck. There's an axe for that.
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@weinerdog4life: Maybe the Titanic sank because there were too many cats onboard, you don't know.
@rzarosco: *does 3 or 4 pretty accurate karate kicks in front of a girl* "Ya as I was saying my dad went to middle school with the drummer from Tesla"
@JediGigi: [cute guy approaches at bar] Him: Hey can I... Me: [blushing] Yes? Him: Can I get a pic of you for my mom? You look just like my grandpa.
@Bryainiac: I don't know why they are called smart phones, I dropped mine in the toilet and it didn't even try to get out.