@hazelmotes1: Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn't she?
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@heatherlou_: I refuse to dismiss Thanksgiving. Any holiday dedicated to food & stretchy pants is worth celebrating.
@whatmaddness: A super villain who foils all your plots, but your plots are just lasagnas and he makes them cook super unevenly.
@FuckabillyRex: I have a bad feeling I'll be wearing one of those barrels with suspenders by the end of the year, but not in a fun, whimsical way.