@hazelmotes1: Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn't she?
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@heytherecore: Scientists hard at work to find out what the other 98% of 2% milk is: "Probably not bees," says one scientist. "Dear god what if it's bees?"
@HannahAntics: I complain about my kids a lot but I'd be lost without them. Lost in my expensive sports car in designer clothes. Or lost in my clean house.
@NikiWithIssues: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, blocking the tv and getting him shot on Call of Duty.