@hazelmotes1: Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn't she?
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@david8hughes: "The toilet's blocked pretty bad so I called the plumber. Should be here later tod-" [Bowser spits coffee] "Which plumber?"
@J_Dazzle76: If I ever go missing and theres a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms.
@ceejoyner: Once a teacher said nobody was buying my cool guy act but he dropped his clipboard and there was a drawing of me in sunglasses on it.