@NicestHippo: You're an adult now. Stop lying about your life on Facebook and start doing it on LinkedIn
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@simoncholland: I hope my kids are impressed with how resourceful the Easter Bunny is for filling eggs with steeply discounted Valentine’s Day candy.
@AbidaleW: Whenever I think I’m having a bad day I think about the time I ran a half marathon and at the starting line all my music mysteriously disappeared and I had to listen to Sugar by Maroon 5 for 13.1 miles
@: Condoms dont really guarantee full protection during sex. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got shot by the girls boyfriend.
@brookeisgolden: Based on my experience with trying to find the restroom at Kohl's, I would die first in the Hunger Games.