@curlycomedy: You're invited to my Oscar party! The theme is movie star cuisine which means there won't be any food.
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@KatieBurnett: Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate
@juliussharpe: I used to see people alone at restaurants and feel bad for them. Now I'm with a screaming two year old wondering, "Who is that solo genius?"
@WilliamHale1: A wise man once said... absolutely nothing. He let her vent and then they had sex afterward.