@BillyMeetsWorld: You're never too old to disappoint your parents.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mikeleffingwell: One big plot hole in X-Men is that Wolverine is over 100 yrs old but there's never been a point in history when that was a hairstyle.
@dafloydsta: [speed dating] Her: THIS IS NICE Me: I'M HAVING FUN TOO Her: WHAT KIND OF DRUG DID YOU SAY THIS WAS? Me: IT'S CALLED SPEED
@samiam604: *on my deathbed* *groggy, dazed, & delirious* Me: I wonder if my TC ever really loved me? Wife: Honey, what's a TC? Me: *pulls plug*
@noog: Snakes are terrifying because they can't trip and fall over shit. No creature should possess such power.