@badAzz_mom: You're not allowed to say "long story short" after talking for 30 minutes.
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@shutupmikeginn: I'm thinking about getting a mirror over my bed so I can watch myself while I'm eating cereal.
@agathagotstoned: Barring any distractions, it only takes about three months to teach a meerkat how to throw knives.
@ScottLinnen: All I'm saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we're all french toast.
@truegritrumble: ME: *as a surgeon* What's the worst that could happen? Your nose buzzes & we put all the pieces back & start over...Where are you going?