@GreenishDuck: You're on your deathbed. You gather the strength to utter your last words "Boxers with pockets," you say. "You'll never have to wear pants."
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@LurkAtHomeMom: I didn't have time to have my coffee before drop off this morning. Anyway. Hopefully I brought them to the right school.
@patnspankme: Dentist: Mike, you really don't need to get undressed when you get in the chair. Me: Oh, no, it's no problem really. I don't mind.
@AimeeHelene1: Over all these years, you'd think I'd remember how important the "L" in clock is...especially when asking mom if I can borrow dad's.
@Brampersandon_: [being a caddy at the masters] GOLFER: *crouched down lining up his putt* ME (whispering in his ear): whatcha lookin at? a bug?