@Brianhopecomedy: You're probably wondering how I tweet so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@EndhooS: Deer: I have a proposal for you Rabbit: I'm all ears Deer: HAHA I get it, cuz of the whole big ears thing Rabbit: That's pretty hurtful Jeff
@TheLOLYBible: "But Lot's wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt, and Lot was like 'wtf' " Genesis 19:26
@TheBoydP: Guys, don’t panic if you find a sticky note from your wife in the morning with only the word “garbage” on it. It’s probably just trash day.