@llvvzz: You're psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you.
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@KeetPotato: [lightbulb store] owner: "what watt can i get you?" me: owner: me: owner: "did i stutter?" me: "i dont know"
@Jake_Vig: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just think, there are people out there who don't get to read my tweets.
@longwall26: People to panhandlers: Get a job, you lazy bum People to ducks: Who has free bread for you? Is it me? Yes, it is