@spitfirehussy: You've been found guilty of murder in the 1st degree. Your sentence is 20 years of being trapped in a FB group message about a baby shower.
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@bourgeoisalien: Acid rain is total bullshit. I stood in it for hours and didn't even hallucinate one time.
@AdamOPrice: Me: read me my Miranda rights Cop: you have a right to be the smart one. You have a right to finally realize Steve is the one for you. If you do not have a Steve, one may be provided for you Me: now read me my Samantha rights Cop [sighs]: you have a right to be the sexy one...
@truegritrumble: BOSS: I hate "yes men." ME: Yeah. Me too. BOSS: I like employees who speak their mind. ME: Yeah. They're the best. BOSS: You get me. ME: Yep