@peachesanscream: You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:
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@HenpeckedHal: Some say their relationship is built on trust. Others, friendship. Mine is built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
@NotThatKunal: Robocop's guns malfunction. Robocop gets sued for manslaughter. Robocop loses his home. Hobocop.
@DadInUtah: 6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?
@joejwest: "murder" she wrote "your password must contain at least one number and one upper case letter" the screen said "murd3R" she wrote, frowning