@CherBear162: Zombies..stay away from junk people or you'll gain a shit-ton of weight.
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@PaperWash: [stranded on Mars] me: [journal day 1] I have enough rations for 300 maybe 400 days me: [journal day 2] I am out of rations
@ericsshadow: In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over.
@realHamOnWry: It just seems crazy that the final apocalypse could be started by a guy who says "You're fired" every time he launches a nuke.
@thenoahkinsey: *therapist writes in pad* Me: Sometimes I feel like people don't notice me- *therapist jumps* Therapist: SHIT! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?