If you’re thinking of having kids, last night I told my 5 year old what I made for dinner and he said “Ew, gross,” then three minutes later I caught him eating a booger.
Faith can move mountains, but cash can move the paperwork.
Husband: *belches
Me: Exactly!
[Flirting]
I can turn anything into a PDF, baby.
I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile
Then walk into a wall
I have a cartoon in the current Private Eye
15 passed his driver’s permit test today. so going forward this will now be a parent horror-comedy account.
The only thing flat-earthers fear is sphere itself.
It’s Open Mike Night at the autopsy lab.
money maker
you never know what burdens people are dealing with