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@TEAMP2007: Sometimes my kid likes me, but I'm pretty sure it's only because I'm his Oreo dealer.
@awkwardphilippe: *walks in* Nope! *does a 360° and walks in further* Ah that's why I failed geometry
@mattZillaaaa: [at my funeral] So young, how did he die? He ran into oncoming traffic after walking past a group of adults saying the word "bae"
@AntozWolf: I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really bad about it.