Did you ever think about ten years ago you’d be saying.. “I really hope this is a chick I’m talking to”.
1:5 people in the world are Chinese. My family has 5 people so its either my mom, dad, brother Colin or Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it’s Colin
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Yay! my car has a parking sensor and I didn’t know. When I reverse too far it makes a banging, crunching noise.
Me: oh Finding Dory is on, what a fun mov-
Neil deGrasse Tyson: You’ll note the fish switch between fresh & salt water without repercussion
My boss accused me of sticking my finger in his BD cake in the break room fridge, but he is completely wrong, it wasn’t my finger.
Proper labeling of axes is absolutely crucial.
One big plot hole in X-Men is that Wolverine is over 100 yrs old but there’s never been a point in history when that was a hairstyle.
Stranger: nice to meet you
Me: give it time
I love how when you walk through a spider web, you all of the sudden know Kung Fu.
It’s been 6 months since I joined the gym and no progress. I’m going there in person tomorrow to see what’s really going on.
Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don’t know.