19 is making brownies.
Puts brownies in the oven and goes up to his bedroom.

Now I have to set the house on fire to teach him a lesson.

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Every Coronavirus post on Facebook should just start with, “First off, I have no idea what i’m talking about.”


Some people around here retweet like it’s coming out of their booze allowance.


ALFRED: *wringing out wet birthday party invitation* it’s difficult to read, but i’d hazard a guess at aquaman, master wayne


I’m always here for you unless someone better looking needs me


what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didnt win that coach would feel stupid


So we agree when the zombies come we feed em the teenagers first, right?


“My anger began to flow through me like hot mountain sweat..”

Um, don’t you mean “Lava”?

“…like warm hill pee”


Anyone here good with computers? Trying to figure out how to attach a swarm of wasps to an email