@DadZZZasleep: 3yo hit her big sister then asked if I was calling the police. she wasn’t scared she was testing to see if I’d snitch
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@Parkerlawyer: My husband sent me a text using just emojis and it’s weird, you would think he would know by now that I don’t even like eggplant.
@bourgeoisalien: Fun Adult Game: put your keys down. walk out of room. now try and remember where your keys are
@Bexdora: JUDITH! FETCH MY EVIL PLAN GLASSES! *2 hours later has organised a small festival* Dammit Judith, these are my party planning glasses!