“if you could dinner with any scientist, alive or dead, which one would it be?”
4: Let’s go to back Target, we can get the Pokémon stuff
Me: But you don’t have any more money
4: That’s okay, we can use your money
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singer at concert: *says name of city we’re in*
me: that’s the name of the city we’re in!
friend: it is good to hear the name of our city!
Personal trainer said we’re going to try some dips today.
I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese. He hates me.
I’m gonna be honest. Even after the vaccine I’m only gonna wanna hang out with 3 of you.
I don’t care if he’s famous or not, what the Headless Horseman is doing is illegal
On Wednesdays we do cardio!
*skips to the kitchen for another snack
We’re gathered here today to mourn the loss of Derek. His last words were “Watch me try and keep my eyes open while sneezing!”
[Getting lucky on the first date]
Me: Hey, there’s an onion ring in my fries!
OMG you guys. I just got asked out. By a real live guy. I don’t know what to do!? Play dead? Duck and roll?
I’m so confused!!