@daemonic3: 50 Shades of Grey is my favorite movie about a dog trying to read a map of the United States.
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@freypalm: Her: You’re up to a pack a day now—you have to cut back. Me: [petting the alpha male of the wolf pack I just adopted] I can quit anytime.
@yoopnative: Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later
@cupcakelynda: Microsoft Word just suggested that I change "you're" to "you is" so yes, I am very very afraid of what the future of education holds.