Which doesnt belong?
Camel……It’s the only one on the list that knows something about the Middle East
7YO: Maybe I’ll behave tomorrow and then you’ll let me watch tv?
Me: Why are you saying “maybe?”
Her: I don’t know the future
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it’s so important we compare women to other women because in the end, as we all know, there can only be one woman
Hostess: It’s a 15 minute wait. May I have your name?
Me: Baron Von Gerhardt, heir to the throne of Osterburken.
Me: Write it down.
Me: I’ve brought a urine sample
Doctor: I didn’t ask for a urine sample
Me: There was a lot of traffic
*Tinkerbell sprinkling pixie dust*
Remember Peter, give me a call if it last longer than 4 hours.
There’s a girl that I hate in my office that’s white but looks like ‘Precious’. I’ve been calling her “Pressure” & blaming my farts on her.
Standing in the boys clothes section at Kohls waiting for my wife. I just realized I look creepy. Better move to the little girls section.
Things not too say before a 3some: Of Course we’re going to wait for your friend, she’s the hot one.
I like to confuse my husband. So I smiled at him this morning.
Lion King is my favourite movie about an innocent baby animal. Being framed for murder.