“Haiku is 5 syllables, 7 syllables, then 5 syllables”
No, it’s literally 2 syllables
You Might Also Like
“Don’t put your brother in the fridge” is something I never thought I’d say, yet here I am.
I’ll take a Friday the 13th over a Monday the 13th every single time.
Where did Scar’s accent come from. Did he study abroad
If Pokémon has taught me anything it’s that most of life’s problems can be solved by owning a rat that can electrocute people
Woke up with morning Yule Log
*shoving a bunch of random food containers and lids into my cabinet without organizing or stacking them in any way, quickly closing the door before they can topple* I probably won’t regret this later
Friend: “I just blew a speaker in my car.”
Me: “Which kind?”
Friend: “Motivational.”
Pro tip: smell the fragrant hand soap on your fingers while you’re in the restaurant’s restroom, not on your way back to the table.
Dear websites I don’t give a shit what you do with my cookies right now
Everyone hates the word moist until they eat a very dry muffin.
Having an authentic Thanksgiving celebration this year. I’m giving my family smallpox.
The Professor Banned Laptops In Class. Too Bad College Kids Are Petty!😂😭😭
When they try to steal your moment.
Why are we forcing a single payer military plan on everyone? There should be a basic military that covers you, and if you want to bomb another country on top of that, you pay for it yourself. It’s about choice
Because I’m on a health journey, I’m no longer looking for a sugar daddy, I’m now looking for a protein papa. Don’t make this weirder than I already have.
Instead of asking pregnant friends if they know the baby’s gender, I ask if they know the species, that way I don’t have to worry about being invited to the baby shower
Teacher: Does anyone have questions?
Me: If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy ACME stuff, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
T: Holy Shit
Fun Fact:
The “eye roll” was created by Eve in the Garden of Eden within 15 min of her first conversation with Adam.
Wasted my annual good hair day at work again this year.
I want my friends and family at my funeral, but more than that, I want a mysterious stranger watching from behind a tree
[Bank]
ROBBER: Look, as long as everyone is cool, no-one will die*I walk in*
ROBBER [picks up gun] well, guess what, everyone
A walk of shame is always sad. Don’t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
common English mistakes:
-mixing up there, their and they’re
-using the wrong too, to or two
-using apostrophes for plurals
-enslaving innocent people
-putting commas in the wrong place
OMG I forgot to read my horoscope and now I have no idea what life has in store for me today!!!!!!
All conclusions should be drawn in crayon.
Me, homeschooling:
If a train leaves the west coast at 7:00am traveling 60 mph and one leaves the east coast at 9:00am traveling 45 mph then what time will I get drunk and drop kick my neighbors garden gnome?
Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.
A lot of people don’t realize that Shania Twain’s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.