I am really shocked that there is not a website devoted solely to the most clever Wi-Fi names of all-time.
You Might Also Like
Turns out the button on the elevator with the fireman’s hat on it is not the button for a free fireman’s hat.
Music FACT: Australian singer-songwriter Sia has a younger sister called Wouldntwannabia.
I sleep with a bat under my bed in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation
What do you call a frog stuck in the mud?
Unhoppy.
#OneLiners #RubbishJokes #Puns #DadJokes #F4F
netflix be hiring writers who have literally never had a normal conversation with anyone ever
Netflix: Continue watching?
Me: *can’t find tv remote*
Narrator: she was laying on the tv remote, but she never found it because she was too lazy to get up
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It’s like they don’t know I plan on cropping them out later.
Buying more laundry baskets so I can avoid doing the laundry
i hate the assumption that people who get up early are doing it to be productive. i’m up at 6:30 am to watch movies
Be the reason why the lights flicker & the temperature drops when you enter a room.
Europeans’ out of offices are like “I will not be working until 18 September. All emails will be automatically deleted.”
Americans: “I am in the hospital. Email responses may be delayed by up to 30 mins. Sorry for the inconvenience! If urgent, please reach me in the ER at…”
Today on House Hunters, we’ll attempt to entangle Hugh Laurie in a giant net.
when girls eat strawberries it’s like sexy and hot but when i eat an entire potato in one bite like a snake it’s weird???? ok
When you skip while carrying a can of gas people move out of your way. Even if you’re smiling. No one’s happy when you have gas.
People who try to beat you when walking into a store. No.
The entire scientific world: The Earth is getting dangerously hotter and threatens our very existence
Dave936 on Twitter: I was 9 in 1976 and I remember it being hot. There’s nothing to worry about, have an ice cream
Dating Tips.
C all her 69 times a day.
R ing her doorbell and hide.
E avesdrop by phone tapping.
E ye her bffs.
P oke her on FB.
[lost at sea]
FRIEND: There’s a ship! Get the flair
ME: [puts on oversized jewellery]
[Opens a beer at the park]
“Dude. There’s kids here.”
Oh shit how rude of me. [turns] IF YOU KIDS WANT SOME BEERS THEYRE IN THE COOLER
Netflix: Are you still watching?
Me: Yes. I like to watch.
Netflix: I’m worried about you.
Me: Just play the next episode.
Netflix: When was the last time you saw the sun?
Me: There was an outdoor scene in episode 7. Play on.
[CREATING GROUNDHOGS]
GOD: a rat dog
ANGEL: check
GOD: that whispers to white people
ANGEL: what?
GOD: about the weather
ANGEL:
The word résumé has fireworks coming out of it to help with the pronunciation yet we’re left to fend for ourselves with colonel?
my daughter brought home a drawing from preschool today and when i asked enthusiastically “honey, did you draw this???” she replied “someone else did but i took it”
Please don’t block me 😂😂😂😂
I was trying to explain how tired I was cause I was up all night scoom drolling and now I don’t think I need to explain any further.
Bee: I got a stinger bro!
Dung beetle: Nice! [enters gods office] Sorry I’m late. Whats my special power?
God: [clearly annoyed] Eating shit
Friendship Test:
1) Is it OK if we never speak?
2) Do you have a healthy and completely rational fear of octopi?
3) Can I borrow $800
doctor: i have good news and bad news. the bad news is your wife is going to be a widow
me: [devastated] what’s the good news
doctor: [pulls out engagement ring] not for long
If only the workout your thumbs get from scrolling on your phone would go to your abs.