Non-believers of Earth being a sphere presumably flatly deny all the evidence.
You Might Also Like
When your mom beats you for coming home late then you see your brother coming😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why do *I* gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship
I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet.
If you don’t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
Lecturer: The human body is made up of 60% water
Me: Oh god…
Lecturer: *rolls eyes* What is it now?
Me: [drowning somehow] I CAN’T SWIM
Stop telling me not to feed ducks bread because it kills them.
Literally all my favorite foods will kill me. Let ducks enjoy themselves.
First of all, I didn’t take it, and second, I already put it back.
Damn Girl, did you just get in a water balloon fight or are you happy to see me?
Scarecrow: why aren’t u scared of me?
Batman: why would…wait. do u think I’m a crow?
SC: ur not a crow?
BM: *hurt* No *quietly* I’m a bat
VILLAGERS: Stop crying wolf, you stupid idiot!
BOY: Fine
{later}
BOY: Help…Wolf!
WOLF: What’s up?
BOY: I need you to kill the villagers
SCIENTIST: it’s our thinnest toilet paper yet, sir. less than a picometer
CEO: *rips it by breathing on it* put it in every public restroom
Getting married soon just need a spouse
I just went to the all-you-can-eat buffet at Ceasars Palace and ate so many different meats, it’s like Noah’s Ark rught now in my stomach.
*holds Google Translate up to my kid’s mouth as he mumbles through a story with food in his mouth*
wife: honey did you see the new player piano I bought
me: *stops googling can ghosts play the piano* yes I did
Pronouncing baked like naked and naked like baked until someone hits me with a folding chair
*Meets new person, forgets their name two seconds after they say it. Spends the next ten minutes hoping others in the conversation will say their name so I don’t have to ask.
Bugs Bunny turns 75 today. Now when he says “What’s up, Doc?” he’s legitimately concerned.
REAL LIFE JUNGLE BOOK
Chapter 1, Page 1:So Mowgli gets straight up eaten, like, right the heck away.
Worst thing about having sex with a Canadian girl is having to sit through BOTH of our national anthems before we start.
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024….
Birds of a feather flock together, as they are racists too.
[phone rings]
“Mr Hughes?”
“Yeah.”
“We need u to come pick yr son up from school.”
“Ugh. Whats he done now?”
“Nothing. Its nearly midnight.”
How was I supposed to know unleashing 342 cats in a club would turn to bone-chilling horror the instant the disco balls started up?
This app would like to use your location. It also wants you to mow the lawn and call your parents more often.
If your wife says “take out the trash” do not reply with “you cooked it you take it out.”
doctor: does this make you uncomfortable?
me: yes
doctor: and how about this?
me: yes
doctor: and what about this?
me: please stop kissing my mom
Daughter: This is a long movie preview.
Me: You’re a long movie preview. I’ve been raising you 17 years and still no movie.
[after robots take over]
*drones crash into my kitchen*
ME: [mouthful of ham] whobithrayed me?
*fridge starts laughing*
BUT U WERE MY FABRIT
Sees friend from highschool. Gives friend a big hug. Refuses to let go of friend. Becomes siamese friends.