@Ray_stephan: A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@zachreinert03: I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day
@primawesome: Health food? Baby, my body is a '93 Honda hatchback with a headlight out. I'm not about to start putting premium gas in it now.
@sofarrsogud: Me: What sneakers are you wearing? Her: Converse Me: Omg Sandra, that’s what I’m trying to do.
@Death_Buddy: *gets summoned to the spider court* YOU ARE HEREBY CHARGED WITH THE CRUSHING OF 4 SPIDERS HOW DO YOU PLEAD? *places glass over spider judge*