@Cheeseboy22: A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort; it is equal to one night. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers.
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@3sunzzz: My husband has texted me 12 times from the grocery store with questions. He's only made it to aisle 4. Pray for me.
@daemonic3: [on phone] ME: Babe what's the wifi password? HER: We broke up. I told you last night ME: We broke up, got it. Any upper case or spaces?
@fro_vo: Grandma: can you call out the bingo numbers? Me: idk i've never done it B4 Gma: holy shit you’re a natural