Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it’s all panic and screaming
A game of cat and mouse, but it’s just me chasing random strangers when I see them with donut boxes.
You Might Also Like
Instead of a condom i keep a moist towelette in my wallet because i run into buffalo wings alot more often than sex
Twitter is like a dog: There’s always someone who loves you for you… there’s also always someone who just peed in an inappropriate place.
Sorry I interrupted your wedding dance with a much much better dance
ME: If we get nuked I hope my cats live. They can eat my corpse for sustenance. I’d be fine with that.
DAD: So you’re still single
What do whales do on a date?
Net flicks and krill.
#WhaleDay #RubbishJokes #Puns #DadJokes
*tries to quietly check the football score during a home invasion
I like when players of opposite teams hug after the game as if to say, “We’re all so very, very rich.”
What if the weather talks about us?