@msmegmensa

A little drunk. Playing scrabble with my cat. Not sure who’s winning cause he’s eaten most of his tiles.

You Might Also Like

@iRowlf

I’m returning this head of lettuce. It tastes awful.
“Sir, that’s a loofah.”
Oh. I’m returning this loofah. Someone took a bite out of it.

@mayamanion

Who needs whips and chains? Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

@SaulKewl

honey the ppl of atlantis lost an entire city & thats like 2000x bigger than a baby so idk if all this yellin is necessary

@robin_991

Marriage Counsellor: last week I asked you to come up with 3 things you love about each other.

Me: I need an extension.

@lizetagge

Before. b-e-f-o-r-e, not B4. We speak English, Not bingo…

@SuperRandomish

If you walk up to me with a plate of food and say “Matt?”

My name will always be Matt.