@DumbPeoplePosts

A new breed of stupid…

You Might Also Like

@FailShark

Waiter: What can I get you?

Me [forgetting the word “waffle”]: I’ll have a graph biscuit.

@Browtweaten

Owner: What makes you qualified to be the new zookeeper?

Me: I found the place

Owner: So?

Me: Finders keepers

Owner: *leans back in chair* Well damn

@MNateShyamalan

WORK FROM HOME TIPS:

Have a routine. Shower/dress like normal. Keep a dedicated workspace. Fill a briefcase with sausages & carry it at all times. Stick to usual work hours. NEVER let raccoons trick you into trusting them with the beefcase: they dont have your interests at heart

@HomeProbably

Social media is proof that even when you fire your gun in the air, someone will pretend one of those bullets hit them.

@meakoopa

JURASSIC PARK is a movie abt how just bc something is great doesn’t mean u should bring it back and it has three sequels

@ArfMeasures

ART TEACHER: Why have you painted the water green again? It looks-
ME: I’m bringing *puts on sunglasses* Shrek sea back
AT: You’re expelled

@Dutch_50

Anyone else notice Independence Day is July 4th? Maybe we can work it into our 4th of July celebrations.

@BuckyIsotope

Kanye goes to law school just so he can yell THE DEFENSE WESTS YOUR HONOR and moonwalk out of the courtroom. The defendant is executed.