@cervixsmash: Herpes sounds like the name of a greek god

@samfromks: Nice try Jehovah's Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to come to my door.

@lawbsterfest: Kevin, children are allowed to order pizzas. You don't have to make the delivery guy think he's being shot at by gangsters. For christ sake.

@shariv67: The developers of Apple Maps first big mistake was not calling it Mapples.

@Moemontes: My dentist just looked in my mouth and said something is gonna have to come out. I suspect he's talking about my wallet.