Mr. Miyagi: It’s simple Daniel san, wax on, wax off
Daniel: Yeah, but your back hair, bro?
A spooky dog skeleton would be so confused. He’d be like should I haunt people or should I gnaw on my enticingly exposed bones
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*Holds my sweatpants like a ball gown when I walk up the stairs*
Narcissist? Let’s just calm down with the big words and keep this conversation about me.
I just got an eyelash in my eye and I’m yelling at it cuz it’s supposed to prevent this shit from happening like, “YOU ONLY HAVE ONE JOB.”
Anyone else rip their mask off when they get in to the car like they’ve just finished a disappointing surgery on Grey’s Anatomy
What if there were an elixir that made me want to fight a police horse
Me- mom stop you are never funny. You never make joke.
Mom- I made you
*pays $2100 to have 17’s wisdom teeth pulled
*puts teeth under my pillow to try to recoup some of that money
I just folded a fitted sheet so beautifully an owl just delivered a Hogwarts acceptance letter to my house
I knew I saw you the moment I laid eyes on you