@justsomegirl81: Other mom: We only eat organic, gluten free foods. This mom: My toddler ate the lint off the rug so now I don't have to vacuum today.

@faungirl123: Me in public: wow does anybody else smell weed? *but it's me, I smell like weed*

@funflaps: Guitar dude: here's wonderwall Clumsy dude: here's blunderwall Pirate dude: here's plunderwall Thor dude: here's thunderwall Store dude: here's refunderwall Escaping dude: here's underwall Blue dude: here's undertheweatherwall

@anhonestmess: This is yr brain. This is yr brain on drugs. *turns page* This is yr brain on the beach at Cancun! Awwww, yr brain on yr honeymoon. *turns p

@Heronhell: When I die use my body to block up a water slide. No one should have fun once I'm gone