@awhalefact: a whale has no legs and can still jump higher than you
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@robfee: Can someone tell me the exact crime I need to commit to get put on house arrest because legally having to cancel plans sounds incredible.
@karanbirtinna: (Hot girl walks in) Brain: Alright don’t panic. Tell her she has beautiful hair. No wait tell her she has beautiful legs! Me: Hi you have beautiful hairy legs. Brain: My bad.