@jollyrobber: AC changed midlife crisis to kidlife crisis & now 5 is leaving me for a younger dad that drives a sports car
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@riverpig12: Twitter : bc in real life Smart, funny, beautiful women are not following us anywhere.
@House_Feminist: Just when I thought we'd avoided all controversial topics at Thanksgiving dinner my niece said Aristocats was better than The Lion King
@AmishPornStar1: Rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
@daemonic3: "Hi" My name is "What?" My name is "Who?" My name is [chka chka] Slim Shady *scribbles on cup* "Ok Mr Shrimp Scabies, I'll start your latte"