@jollyrobber: AC changed midlife crisis to kidlife crisis & now 5 is leaving me for a younger dad that drives a sports car
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@bazlyons: They say punching a shark is an effective way to prevent a shark attack but my preference would still be 'land'
@shkeeber: Friend: What happened? 15yo me: *arm in a sling* Got hit by 2 buses. Friend: What happened? 37yo me: *in a full body cast* I sneezed weird.
@thenatewolf: My Grandpa used to gather us around to tell us stories about surviving World War Two. My dad just gathered us around to watch a YouTube clip of an Asian child playing “Africa” by Toto on a rubber chicken.
@dmc1138: My computer just gave me an "Error 404" message, which can't be right because I know I've made way more errors than that.