@Home_Halfway: Accidentally used AXE shampoo to wash my cat the other day and now he's boxing strays and impregnated 17 dogs
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@SteveKoehler22: So many designer dogs now- Cavapoos, labradoodles, chugs ... When is someone going to cross a Bulldog and Shih Tzu ? That's Bullshit.
@matt___nelson: My dentist asked how school was and I said “great” because that’s much easier than “oh I actually dropped out because I’ve effectively monetized a twitter account where I numerically objectify dogs”
@SJSchauer: This guy told me he spoke Swedish and then spoke Swedish and tbh I have no way of knowing if he was lying.
@BobTheSuit: Use Angie's List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.