Accidentally used the dog’s shampoo today, and I’m feeling like such a good girl.

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Who decided to call it an English to French dictionary and not a Two – Deux list?


Apparently “I don’t like scary movies,” is not an appropriate response to being asked to watch a wedding video.


If the chameleons did their work better, we would not know about the existence of chameleons.


If a group of lions is called a pride, then a group of humans should be called an embarrassment.


*wakes up early on weekend
*makes 12 pancakes
*wakes kids up

“Daddy, can we have waffles today???”

*eats 12 pancakes


This day in history. 1961. In Spain the fascist government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco declared equal rights for women and men. None.


The best actress award goes to my 5YO for her performance as a hungry and deprived child just before her bedtime


[having sex]
ME: Divide 110 into two parts so that one will be 150% of the other. What are the 2 numbers?
Her: 44&66 HARDER!


I’m so out of shape, I can’t even run away from my insecurities.