@vonny_bravo: Ah, Boxing Day. When your house looks like it slept with it’s makeup on.
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@AbbyHasIssues: "Well-behaved women seldom make history," I whisper as I don't wait the full ten minutes for the oven to preheat.
@TheToddWilliams: [Ferrari dealership] ME: How much for this red one? SALESMAN: Oh, that'll cost you a pretty penny ME: *holding out penny wearing a small wig and lipstick* SALESMAN: VA-VA-VA-VOOM!