@whatdreamsmaygo: alcohol has an odd way of revealing who we really are. turns out, I'm batman.
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@GrandadJFreeman: Most girls: "I hangout with guys, there's less drama." Me: "I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants."
@jaggings: Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can / super speed, giant leap / crawls in your mouth when you're asleep
@thedad: *i drop my pen at work* Guy who backpacked around Europe: that reminds me of this little village in the north of Romania
@Brentweets: If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved.