Help a bro out
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You can get a free carton of ice cream at the grocery store if you eat the whole thing before the cops show up.
Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
me: help! that guy stole my identity!
also me: no i didn’t
“Daddy will u tuck me in?:)”
*tucks him in*
“Daddy sing me a song:)”
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES H
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
*yelling from the back row
Very little scares me. So does very big.
Mozzarella sticks in the streets, mozzarella sticks in the sheets.
There’s never a bad time for mozzarella sticks.
When I was a boy we had to invent snow before we could walk 15 miles through it to get to school.
CNN reports Hurricane Patricia “hit luxury resorts and impoverished villages with equal ferocity.” Did they expect wealth-based discernment?