I sexually identify as that one flickering letter on the neon motel sign.
Almost went outside without my phone and now I know what it’s like to lose your child at the mall
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Announced sternly to students today that “only hard things are worth doing!” In other news, I have a bunch of parent emails to respond to.
Things that are terrifying:
A snake on my hike
My 3yo saying: ‘member your dark red lipstick that I like to draw with?
I’m beginning to think that some of you aren’t really pretending to be crazy.
Sure, Canada, feel safe now while US is just after oil.
Wait ’til we run low on beer, ice, hockey players & f’d up ways to pronounce words.
My neighbour left her outdoor stereo blaring & went out for the night. I now have a set of speakers for sale, minus the wires. Call me.
If you don’t open your mouth while putting on mascara, you die.
My 7yo has a friend over and I’m pretty sure he learned how to whisper during a hurricane.
You’re not allowed to be an eyewitness on the news unless you’re the most confused person at the scene.
My kitten runs away when the kids come near her, and now I’m mad that I never thought to try that myself.