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@meganamram: Americans sure like Star Wars for something that immediately forces you to read
@JermHimselfish: My girlfriend buys candles the same way I buy weed. She looks at the color, opens it and smells it, buys it, then lights it on fire to relax
@vexroid: Me: Did you play video games all day?
Me: What else did you do?
9: I ate lunch
@InternetHippo: SUPERHERO: I alienate my loved ones to protect them from danger
ME: Me too, that’s also my reason
@UnFitz: Her: You enjoy silently judging everyone, don’t you.
Me: Silently? No.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Fun Prank: When someone wakes from a coma, have everyone dressed in medieval clothes and welcome them back from "The Sleeping Disease"