Amidst a decrease in airfare prices, WestJet has hiked the cost of checked bags and Flair has added a new credit card fee. Thankfully, Air Canada has stepped up and is offering an additional 50% off of your legroom!
You Might Also Like
My daughter had a before school donut party for track and an after school ice cream party for orchestra so I asked her if she had anything else coming up?
My 10 y/o as he walks by… “Diabetes probably.”
My daughter told us that she learned the life cycle of a frog, and when asked to recite it, she said, “eggs, tadpole, frog, prince, ex-husband.”
What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates:
1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. Okay, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.
can’t get enough of this specific type of Olympic event. happy to hear arguments for others
I just ran a .003048K
Me: Can I get you a drink? Her: I have a boyfriend. Me: Lady, I’m the bartender.
DEVIL: And this is the lake of lava that you’ll be spending eternity in.
ME: Actually we’re underground so it would be magma.
DEVIL: This is why you’re here you realise.
so proud of america. only 8 years after electing first black pres, we’re considering electing our first orange one
I just want the confidence of my teen who replied “Who’s this?” to a guy who texted her after ghosting her for a month.
Do you know what I’ve learned after 59 years of living on this planet?
Your culinary experience improves once you realize your smoke alarm isn’t a cooking timer.
The year is 2073. My wife and I rest in side by side burial plots. Waking up in the middle of the night our 57yo son, for reasons beyond his understanding, digs a horizontal hole between us and gets in.
His head near his mother and his feet kicking my corpse, he sleeps.
Turn off autocorrect?
Challinje aceptid.
I’ve lost my boyfriend! He’s in one of these browser tabs, somewhere.
[someone breaks into the house]
Your dog: I will protect my family and our belongings
My dog: OMG OMG NEW FRIENDS HI I LOVE YOU LETS PLAY
[waxing salon]
ME: I need to make a waxing appointment.
ASSOCIATE: You want a Brazilian?
ME: No, I don’t need that many.
Since I got my iPhone eleventeen last week I have taken about 47 screenshots of my Home Screen just trying to turn the gd thing off.
if three separate women were faking covid test results in order not to date me, i would simply not tell that fact to the new york times
Stop putting jumpsuits in with the dresses! I don’t want to take off all my clothes to pee!!!
anyone else like Italian cereal
me: what makes you angry
pirate: when someone steals my p
amazing how folks can pinpoint the subtle floral undertones in a glass of wine while i’m like “yo, is there mustard on this grilled cheese?”
If we all just agree, this could be a 3 day weekend too
Pretty proud of myself. I made copies of all the blank white printer paper at work. Doubled our supply for free. Can’t wait to tell my boss.
If I could ask God for one thing, it would probably be power equal to or greater than his own.
Cop: Tell me again why there’s a guy in your trunk.
Me: I told him he would look good in it.
Cathy on Facebook hates being sick.
Really Cathy ? …..Most people love it.
Me : Dating is tough. Lots of weirdos out there ..
Me on first Date : so here’s everything I know about the Jonestown massacre.!