@NourhanKheir: an advice to every dad,if you wanna see your children just turn the router off,they will suddenly appear.btw ur neighbor might come as well.
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@dksqbishop: Her: You’re drunk, again Me, stumbling into bed: How can you tell? Her: You live next door
@GingerHotDish: What if I said I wanted it all, right now, with you? Costco worker: Ma’am, please save some cheese samples for other shoppers.
@WGladstone: I put my pants on like everyone else: with difficulty, blaming the dryer for shrinking them.
@garrydavenport: Thinking of my mother at Christmas, looking down on me. She's not dead, just very condescending.