@sammyrhodes: And the Best McDonald’s Employee of the Month goes to Mad Max: Fury Road.
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@Vodkantots: Well well well. If it isn't old Saint Nick trying to slide down this chimney after ignoring my texts for a year.
@goulden_eye: Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. LOL just kidding it was double homicide.
@iwearaonesie: Marriage is one person sitting on the couch eating Cheetos while the other looks for the remote because she can't hear the TV