@matt___nelson: Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@notacroc: GROCER: slide your card ME: it didn't work GROCER: does it have a chip? ME: *puts hand over pringle in my pocket I was saving for later* no
@EndhooS: [Interview] "Do you have any previous experience dealing with animals?" [flashback to my flatmate leaving toast crumbs in the butter] ..Yes.
@UnFitz: Apparently the main job qualification for being a pirate was that you had to be named after a beard.
@garrydavenport: If my mobile provider started charging 3 times as much as their nearest competitor but there was no voicemail, I'd still stay with them.