@LizHackett: Any other ladies having their period during this Friday the 13th Full Moon want to meet up and combine powers? I'll bring a salad.
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@offbeatoliv: Half my family is Catholic, the other half Jewish, so when the tweet contest theme is "guilt" I pretty much have it in the bag.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: *walks up behind me when I'm on the computer* What game are you playing? Me: Pay the bills. 5: Are you winning? Me: No.
@: I asked my husband if I’m the only one he’s been with. He said yes, the others were all nines and tens. Send bail money.
@ArfMeasures: BOSS: Wow you made a killing on your first day ME: Thanks boss! BOSS: *puts hand on my shoulder* that's bad for a surgeon