@mrjohntofu: Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Megatronic13: My daughter fell hard while we were hiking, so my 3-yr old niece starts punching the ground where she fell and yelling, “I don’t like you hurting my cousin!” She’s gonna be a bodyguard or a felon one day, folks. I’m just not sure which one yet.
@funandmisery: [Hands on Ouija Board] Me: If you’re really my grandma give me a sign! “W.H.Y.A.R.E.N.T.Y.O.U.D.A.T.I.N.G.Y.O.U.R.E.S.O.H.A.N.D.S.O.M.E.”
@EverydayGirlDad: As a kid playing parent, I never accounted for the 8 hours a week I'd lose taking underwear out of inside out pants while doing laundry.
@causticbob: Following the leaking of nude photo's of Kim Kardashian, her personal assistant has been sacked for the delay.