@GrumpyBahr

Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.

You Might Also Like

@junejuly12

Hey vegans. Making a salad is not “cooking”. Making a salad is “assembling”.

@pplwtching

Ever notice you can hardly touch something that just came off a grill, but yet a fly can land on that MFer like its room temperature?

@Ellierocks2013

Door says push.. I pull.. If it says pull I push.. I’m ether a hardcore Rebel or I need glasses…

@SlabBaconBP

I find that the secret to not being insecure is to just be better than everybody at everything while being incredibly good looking.

@Marlebean

I’m at a stage in life where I still want to be sexy but
WHY DO YOU KEEP WIPING YOUR BOOGERS ON MOMMY?!!

@gregreckons

If by “eat clean” you mean “donuts in the shower”, then yes – I eat clean.

@JoshMarino420

if potheads are lazy then why did I just go to my car to get a lighter?

@ShakespearePop

I just made your acquaintance, and this is preposterous, but here is my address, perhaps thou shall mail me maybe.

@RinzyArt

a group of crows is a murder

a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified murder