@hurlarious: Apparently the g-spot is located in a $1700 pair of Christian Louboutins.
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@captainkalvis: therapist: what's your biggest fear me: ghost chameleons bc they have therapist: [gasps] double invisibility
@dog_feelings: i have locked myself in the bathroom. do not ask me how it happened. because i don’t have that information. hopefully. my stuffed fren sebastian. has already called. the proper authorities
@YourMomsucksTho: Welcome to your 40's you are 15-20lbs overweight no matter what and sweat constantly. You irritate anyone under 30, and have 5 years max left before your phone completely confuses you.
@FU_TangClan: me: why are you leaving me Barbar? Barbara: because after 11 years you can’t get my name right me: but I love you Brabra