@shutupmikeginn: "Are you already hot as shit? Then you'll look hot as shit in our glasses" - Every glasses ad
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PleaseBeGneiss: [getting arrested after heist] Boss: What happened? You were supposed to be on lookout Me: *flashback to me sending invites on outlook* you’re not gonna believe this
@KentWGraham: My wife got an organic, free-range, non-GMO, antibiotic-free turkey for Thanksgiving — and every one of those adjectives added 20 bucks.
@citizenkawala: If you're depressed, start exercising. You'll still be depressed, but you'll be depressed with abs.